Friday prayers had just finished
and the day is scorching hot. It is like these times when you wish there are some
cendol stalls around to quench the parching thirst deep in your throat. Blurry
mirages seem to be visible on the road due to the heat and I have to walk a
great deal of distance to get to my destination. Wiping the sweat off my
forehead for what seemed to me for a hundredth time, I could see far ahead
along the way a cafĂ© called “Ipoh Kopitiam”.
*
“Since you are not deciding let’s
eat there!” she said with a hint of glee.
“Why on earth do you want to eat
at Ipoh Kopitiam? I thought by now we both should be tired of Ipoh”
“I don’t know. I just feel like
it. You always admit that when I follow my instinct, good things turn out”
“But I hate kopitiams! They serve
awful food and I don’t drink coffee!”
She pouted and I conceded, as
usual.
We both studied in a local
university in Perak back around 2004-2008 and Ipoh seemed to be the nearest
city. Of course, we did not know each other back then. I was pretty much a
recluse rotting in my own dormitory playing computer games only occasionally going
out because of two things; classes and food (most of the time because of the
latter). Besides, she was my junior and our activities and interests seemed to
be totally opposite we never crossed path.
She joined the same accounting firm
as mine after graduating. We worked together reporting to the same superior for
a couple of months before we had our first conversations. I was never good with
strangers so it is obvious that she made the first move to talk and introduced
herself.
“Hey, are you always like this?”
she asked, casually, like it is the most natural thing to do.
“Like what?”
“Like that! You are always so quiet
and not sociable. No one will approach you if you stay on like that.”
“I don’t really care. I am fine
with how I am right now.”
“Well it’s a shame.” and then she
walked away. “It’s Hana by the way.” glancing back for a short moment and then
continue walking towards her cubicle.
Those were the first few words
that we exchanged. We started dating a few months after. I couldn’t exactly recall when was it the first time we started
the dating spree and for what reason. We went out for dinners and movies
several times. Unlike other normal couples, we do not have any labels for our
relationship. I was technically not her boyfriend and she wasn’t my girlfriend either,
and we both were comfortable that way.
“Hey are you going to order
something?” she asked, breaking my train of thoughts.
“Ah yes I’m having whatever she’s
having” I responded subconsciously to the waiter.
The waiter scowled as he walked
away for I had wasted his time. It is not that it is my intention to do that.
It is just my thoughts easily derail and before I knew it, people get angry
because I was staring into nothingness or being unresponsive.
“You are boring.” she said
without feeling at least bit guilt.
I raised my face, confused.
“You always
played safe and you are not adventurous at all. For instance, you ordered the
same dish as I did. Don’t you ever want to try something else or at least have
your own choice?”
“I treat any food as sources of
energy to the body. I barely care about the taste of food, as long as it is
edible and all the nutrients are sufficient.”
She seemed to be not satisfied
with my explanation but conceded the argument almost immediately. She took out
a magazine which she just bought just now from a plastic bag and started
unwrapping it. It is still an exciting mystery to me how women likes to read
those crappy magazines filled with celebrity news and updates. I think it is
the exact same perception from women towards men’s hobbies and interests. I
guess we do come from two different planets.
The food arrived and we had our peaceful
meal together. The humidity of the air and the swirling waves of wind coming
from the ceiling fan were pleasant. The radio was playing a very familiar tune I
could barely recognize. The room was cozy and I did feel at home; and she was
in place; she feels like home.
She raised her head and my heart
skipped a beat. Only seconds later I realized that she was staring right
through me. She wore this heartbreaking facial expression I’ve never seen
before my whole life. I turned and try to catch what she was looking at but I saw
nothing.
I turned back facing her as she continue her read. I need
to ask her what she saw that changed her disposition so suddenly. The sadness
in her eyes made my heart break. I need to ask her the reason so badly but I am afraid
that it’ll worsen the situation. I carefully arrange the words in my head,
opened my mouth but nothing came out but a short sigh. It continued to be what
seemed to me the longest silent meal I have ever been to.
*
“Hey dood are you ok?” Asyraf asked.
I blinked a few times, just like
those who react after being under a strong hypnosis. As a matter of fact, I do
feel like I just woke up from a very long dream. I did not realize how long
have I been staring into nothingness up until Asyraf noticed that something is
wrong with me. I looked around and realized that I have walked a fair amount of
distance from the last place that I was conscious of my whereabouts.
I frantically look around for the Ipoh
Kopitiam and when I found it, I saw Farhana sitting across someone who appears
to be…me. She was there looking straight at me with that exact same sadness on her
white porcelain face. As I was trying to change my direction towards her and was
about to start running, she smiled. It was the most beautiful smile I have ever
seen, those of one might mistaken would come from an angel.
Seeing her smile halted my movements. I stayed still where I was standing for a few seconds and turned back to
the original direction I was facing. I knew I had to move on. I tried to take a
step forward but my right foot seemed so heavy. I tried to move my foot but it doesn’t
seem to budge an inch.
It took every ounce of effort I had
when I finally managed to move my foot. The second my right foot sets back on the
hot steamy road is when I realized that I return to hearing moving cars and
pedestrians chatting, those you normally could hear on a busy Friday. I felt
that the world came back to its original course after a long halt.
The few steps onwards seemed
easier to take and I felt like a huge conscious burden had been lifted off my
back.
“Yeah… I’m fine”
“………………… Weirdo”
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